Respect

I remember when I was pregnant; I went to my older sister’s house where we chatted about the excitement of another little bub coming in to the family. As the conversation kept rolling, big sis started asking me about my intentions; with dummies, with feeding, with sleeping. All of a sudden she stopped herself & said – “Oh Ash I am so sorry! Please don’t think I am telling you what to do or thinking what you are going to do is wrong.” I had never once felt that way during the conversation but appreciated that she had thought to say it. I had always felt (and still do) that she was just giving her experiences & opinion to give me any help & information that might help with my own decision making. But my decisions were always mine. They were respected & I have never been made feel like I am doing anything wrong even though I know for a fact I have done things with Charli my sister probably wouldn’t have dreamt of with her little girl.

My family & some of my friends have shown me this same courtesy. They have always given us information if they think we may not have it but were not offended or negative if we chose another way. I cannot thank these people enough for their support, their interest in Charli’s well-being & their respect for our decisions as Charli’s parents.

The rest of the assholes out there that think Jacob & I are such terrible parents can go jump off something high, without a parachute, preferably into some sharp jaggered rocks…

After 9 months of pregnancy & almost 4 months of motherhood, I’ve just about had enough of the rest of the world; the people who know better because they have a kid as well. Your kid is not the same as my kid. All babies & children develop differently, hate & like different things, need comforting differently. Piss off with your know-it-all attitude!

I think the kicker is that I REALLY don’t agree with most of the parenting styles these people have adopted themselves but of course I never said anything because it’s NOT MY KID. It’s not my place. If it hits such a nerve I feel I need to talk to anyone about it I discuss it with someone else!! Even if it is something I wouldn’t do it with Charli in a blue fit - if that’s what works for you & your kid, go for freaking gold mate! Just show me the same respect.

Advice is different to an opinion. If you have open advice with no expectation that I will end up doing exactly that with Charli, please share. If you have an opinion on how my child should be raised, kindly shut your hole.

Then there are the people who disrespect your wishes in front of your face & mock them as if you’re not standing RIGHT THERE. I have ignored the mocking so far, as long as my wishes for Charli are being upheld. I have heard my Husband have to demand for Charli to be treated in such a way or be given back to him. Daddy-hood has made my calm, easy going husband a big protective bear & I love it.

I suppose I am just still shocked that people are so ridiculously disrespectful. I have decided after this past weekend that I am going to tackle things a little differently from now on & really take no shit. Anyone who can’t respect my parenting doesn’t deserve to be in my or Charli’s life anyway so bring it right on.

I also want my Mummy friends to know that if I have EVER shared with you or talked to you about parenting I hope I have never made you feel the way I have been made felt by so many others. My intention was always to share advice for you to take as you please, as my wonderful sister does. If I actually disagreed with anything I would have kept my mouth shut anyway. It is simply not my place & I don’t go there.

I know a lot of amazing parents out there that I love sharing my experiences with; the ones I don’t have to filter my thoughts with. You guys rock. Keep doing your thing. We are all kick ass Mums & Dads <3