Today had the potential to be a very shitty day.
As you all know my ticker needed fixing last year, courtesy
of a Congenital Heart Defect (CHD).
Not long after my surgery, Jacob’s mother was also diagnosed
with a CHD that will eventually need to be corrected with surgery.
My first thought, of course, was Charli. With heart issues now
stemming from both sides of her family, the potential for her to have heart
problems was that much higher. Cue Mum mode. I immediately got a referral from
our GP to see a paediatric cardiologist and on the 23rd of July last
year, the day before she turned 3, Charli was having an echocardiogram.
She was an absolute champ. At that point, after being in
& out of hospital for her lungs for the better part of her life, I think
she was just used to following instructions in that kind of setting; staying
still when she was told, breathing how she was told, moving this way and that.
The Cardiologist (Michael, for future reference) also had
fabulous bedside manner, which is always helpful. Michael and Charli discussed
what Charli would watch on the computer screen while the scan was being done. After
a definite & confident “My Little Pony, please”, Charli lay still for around
half an hour, blissfully unaware of how scary this actually was, as she watched
Twilight Sparkle & her friends traipse around Ponyville.
Old Michael was onto me, he could probably see the potential
meltdown headed his way. So, he first checked for an ASD (my defect) &
stopped to tell me that Charli didn’t have any sign of the same. I almost
crumpled with relief until I realised there was obviously other problems she
could have, but was thankful again when he stopped to share that Charli has a “perfect
Mercedes Benz” meaning her tricuspid valve was just as it should be (Jacob’s
mother’s defect is a bicuspid valve).
Suddenly, I was wiping blue jelly off Charli’s chest &
putting her shirt back on, pleased as punch that things had gone so well. That
is, until I turned back to Michaels desk to see him drawing a heart on some
paper. My own sank & I fought off a wave of nausea as I sat down with an
oblivious Charli on my lap & waited for the hit that was surely coming.
Michael explained that there was a small part of the wall in
Charli’s heart that was thicker than it should be – extra tissue that had the
potential to cause major issues with structure and blood flow. He also noted
that because Charli was only turning 3 the next day that the issue could very
possibly resolve itself. So, we would have to come back each year for a check-up.
Fast forward to March this year, a global pandemic has hit
our shores and the numbers are going up, up, up. I have heart and lung issues.
Charli has heart and lung issues. So, I locked us up. Apart from out doctors
trip last Friday, we hadn’t been out in public until yesterday, 44 days after
we decided to self-isolate. We are due to go back to day care and work over the
coming couple of weeks & although things are looking good, I needed to be
sure Charli was going to be as safe as she possibly could be. So I wanted to
make sure her heart hadn’t gotten any worse before releasing her back into the wild…
On Friday Charli had her flu vaccine. It was a shitshow.
Rewind to early March when Charli was in hospital with a random virus & the
doctor happened to find a foreign object in her ear. Even that night when she
was so sick with fever, she was so good for the nurses & doctors. Enter the
ENT specialist from hell, who forcibly removed the object from Charli’s ear
while she screamed so loudly that multiple other staff came into the room to
see what the hell was going on. “Oh dear” was all she had to say about the
amount of blood that was left in the aftermath & still flowing from Charli’s
ear as she ushered us out of the clinic room. Charli hasn’t let me near her
ears since & I hoped it was just going to be an ear thing. But no, it has extended to anything medical & Friday she
smacked away our GP’s hand as she tried to get Charli’s temperature. Not to
mention the joy of getting the vaccine itself – screaming & kicking were
involved.
So we knew heading to the Cardiologist was going to be just delightful.
Jake cancelled an appointment of his own to come with us as we realised even mentioning
the doctor brought on either outright bawling, panic or complete shut-off from
Charli. We tried to make it better, practicing at home with body lotion and one
of Charli’s play doctors tools, explaining that it was just taking pictures,
that it wouldn’t hurt. We even got her practice on me. We BRIBED THE SHIT out
of our kid. I’m not one for bribes but I spent a ridiculous amount of money on
Pokemon toys. We bought them with her and then told her we would take them back
to the store if she didn’t do the right thing at the doctors. We are the worst.
But it helped. Michael & his extraordinarily adaptable approach was key
though, he let her look at & touch all of the medical tools & jelly
before he even tried to start the scan. She finally let him start scanning,
much to our relief – not only that she wasn’t screaming but that a clear scan
meant a clear path forward. It was over much quicker than the original scan
(thank god).
For 10 months I’ve been keeping the possibility that Charli’s
heart could need corrective surgery in the back of my mind. It was so easy to
potentially plan the logistics in my head. Making sure there was leave to care
for her, money to cover the medical bills, yadda-yadda. I didn’t linger on the
gut-churning thought of Char having to experience such an invasive surgery, not
to mention such a long road to recovery because it would be the absolute worst
part. So when we sat down with Michael after the scan, I was braced for it. Michael
got straight to it, enthusiastically explaining that as Char has grown in the
past 10 months, the extra tissue has resolved itself. It is completely gone. There
is nothing structurally wrong with her heart.
To my credit, I didn’t cry until we were driving home. That
background baggage had been weighing heavier than I’d known & I cannot
describe the relief. Post appointment, Char got her Babyccino, with four
marshmallows. She got a plush Pikachu, a Pokeball Belt with Pokeballs &
figurines. I tossed a book into the mix too. BRIBERY. When it’s okay, it’s
okay.
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